If you were like me on New Year’s Day, you got up to the news that someone drove a truck down Bourbon Street in New Orleans, injuring 35 and killing 15.

I lived and worked in New Orleans for 12 years. This is my town. These are my people! Even if you have never lived in New Orleans, this is our state, a part of what makes Louisiana so unique, and the inspiration behind some of our favorite foods like gumbo and jambalaya. New Orleans has influenced some of my most favorite past times like Saints football, crawfish boils with friends and Mardi Gras. New Orleans is a part of who we are so this act of terrorism hits way too close to home – literally and figuratively!

You may be asking yourself, “who does something like that?” I don’t know, but maybe the bigger question is “how do you make sense of something that makes no sense?” We cannot control what people do, we can only control how we respond. It is in our response to such tragedies that define us, grow us, and make us better people. So here are a few tips to help us make sense in those times that don’t make sense.

First, don’t play the blame game. It is not the fault of the city or first responders, or anyone else for that matter. No barricade or stronger police presence would stop someone from driving up on the sidewalk. When someone wants to commit an act of violence they will find a way.

Second, acknowledge your feelings but don’t dwell on them. If you are feeling sad, then feel your grief. If you are angry, then admit it, but don’t act on it. If you are confused, sit with it or pray about it, but don’t let it consume you. Put down the phone, turn off the TV or at least change the channel. An over consumption of our 24 hour news cycle on tragic events just feeds into whatever emotions we are experiencing. Instead, take a walk, clear your head, change the subject, all quick tips to move forward and not “eat your feelings” or let your feelings eat on you.

Finally, don’t respond with hate. So often violence and hate against others who look like or act like those who have harmed us is our natural human response. However, in times like these we need to rise above. Martin Luther King, Jr. said “hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” We can’t change the entire world, but we can certainly change our sphere of influence – where we work, where we play and where we live – by changing the way we respond to difficult situations, even the ones that don’t make sense.

On the journey,

Ramonalynn Bethley