By RON “MAD DOG” HIGGINS, Journal Sports
The envelope on my desk from Skippy the Wonder Bichon on Monday morning was addressed to “The Guy Who Scratches My Belly.”
Dad Dude,
I am no longer participating in your weekly college football picks column until you secure me a NIL deal. I want $1,000 per week or roughly $100 for each of my 10 whizzes.
Sincerely yours,
Skipper
I walked outside and found the Skipster sunbathing on the patio.
“NIL deals?” I asked. “Just because you and I were both 7-3 in week 1 of our picks?”
“I have the ideal NIL deal for me – dog obedience schools,” he replied. “Remember when I jumped out of your lap through a half-open car window, stuck the landing and ran down the block? It was awesome. You strained a hamstring chasing me because you hadn’t sprinted since the late 90s.
“Dad Dude, I’m perfect for this deal. I’m disobedient, but I can also act calm and be a perfect companion when the cameras roll.”
“Your endorsement of dog obedience schools is blatantly false advertising, Skipster,” I said.
“True, but my paycheck will be very real,” said Skip with a swaggy wag of his tail.
“I’ll work on it,” I said. “Just make your picks.”
On to Week 2:
No. 14 LSU (0-1) vs. Nicholls State (0-1) Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge, Saturday, 6:30 p.m. (SEC Network)
Betting line: LSU favored by 19½
The skinny: While Nicholls is admittedly a feisty FCS (Division 1-AA team), there will be more questions about the Tigers if they don’t hang a half a hundy on the Colonels. It’s the proper response to having their killer instinct questioned by their head coach.
Mad Dog’s pick: What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas 55, Thibodaux National Guard 3
Skippy’s pick: LSU
No. 4 Texas (1-0) at No. 9 Michigan (1-0), Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, Saturday, 11 a.m. (FOX)
Betting line: Texas favored by 7½
The skinny: In his fourth season as Texas’ head coach, Steve Sarkisian has built a roster designed to compete in the SEC and for the national championship. Few schools have more NIL money to spend than the Longhorns. Seems like they finally have a coach who can assess talent and use it wisely.
Mad Dog’s pick: Bevo’s Ball Carriers 34, Ann Arbor Boy Scouts 24
Skippy’s pick: Texas
No. 12 Tennessee (1-0) vs. North Carolina State (1-0), Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, Saturday, 6:30 p.m. (ABC)
Betting line: Tennessee favored by 7½
The skinny: The beast has been unleashed. Vols’ quarterback Nico Iamaleava (pronounced Iamagonnadestroyyou) threw for 314 yards in the first half (a school record) in UT’s season-opening 69-3 beatdown of Chattanooga. Nuclear Nico is your man if you’re looking for a Heisman darkhorse.
Mad Dog’s pick: Big Orange Air Force 45, North Carolina State Sixpack 21
Skippy’s pick: North Carolina State
South Carolina (1-0, 0-0 SEC) at Kentucky (1-0, 0-0 SEC), Kroger Field, Lexington, Saturday, 2:30 p.m. (ABC)
Betting line: Kentucky favored by 9½
The skinny: Frankly, the winner of this game gets a leg-up on a Duke’s Mayo Bowl invite. I’d rather watch a Dr. Pimple Popper marathon than this snoozefest.
Mad Dog’s pick: Kaintuck Moonshiners 28, Dixie Chickens 17
Skippy’s pick: South Carolina
Houston (0-1) at No. 13 Oklahoma (1-0), Memorial Stadium, Norman, Saturday, 6:45 p.m. (SEC Network)
Betting line: Oklahoma favored by 28½
The skinny: It’s still too early to get a solid read on the Sooners. They won their season-opener by 48 (51-3) over a barely functioning Temple team. Their toughest non-conference game is next week at home vs. Tulane before playing in their first SEC game ever – also at home – vs. Tennessee on Sept. 21.
Mad Dog’s pick: The Warlords of Norman 52, Buc-ee’s Brisket Slicers 13
Skippy’s pick: Oklahoma
In other games:
Arkansas (1-0) at Oklahoma State (1-0), Boone Pickens Stadium, Stillwater, Saturday, 11 a.m. (ABC)
Betting line: Oklahoma State favored by 7½
Mad Dog’s pick: Mullet Man Method 41, Razorpiggies 24
Skippy’s pick: Oklahoma State
California (1-0) at Auburn (1-0), Shug Jordan Stadium, Auburn, Saturday, 2:30 p.m. (ESPN2)
Betting line: Auburn favored by 13½
Mad Dog’s pick: Hughey Freeze and the News 37, One Toke Over the Line Left Coasters 14
Skippy’s pick: Auburn
Kansas State (1-0) at Tulane (1-0), Yulman Field, New Orleans, Saturday, 11 a.m. (ESPN)
Betting line: Kansas State by 9½
Mad Dog’s pick: Purple Felines 31, Willow Street Wave 28
Skippy’s pick: Tulane
Colorado (1-0) at Nebraska (1-0), Memorial Stadium, Lincoln, Saturday, 6:30 p.m. (NBC)
Betting line: Nebraska favored by 7½
Mad Dog’s pick: The Huskers’ Golden Rhule 35, Coach Prime’s Love Train 31
Skippy’s pick: Nebraska
Middle Tennessee (1-0) at No. 6 Ole Miss (1-0), Vaught-Hemingway Stadium, Oxford, Saturday, 3:15 p.m. (SEC Network)
Betting line: Ole Miss favored by 41
Mad Dog’s pick: The Jaxson Dart Dodge Dip and Dive All-Stars 54, Paul Revere and the Blue Raiders 10
Skippy’s pick: Ole Miss
Contact Ron and/or Skippy at ronhigginsmedia@gmail.com